Double Booked

Being double booked is a single girls happiness. Two hot dates in one day! Yeah, but you have to be good at it. You have to plan appropriately, ensuring that nothing occurs to mess the great day up.

Timing is important. You want to make the second date with the guy you want to spend the most time with. The first one can not be attention and time stingy as the date may begin to linger and possibly effect the time prep for the second date.

Outfit prep is also key. You gotta know where your going on both dates. The outfit must be able to accommodate both events. Don't want to be under or over dressed for either date, but dressed cute enough to make your date feel special. And tip from my daughter, yep the 13 year old. You may wanna bring an additional top to change into-just in case the 1st date is wearing cologne and happens to leave a lingering smell of his scent. Your second date would hate to smell your first date. LOL-she's too cute...a dive in the making.

Communication can be tricky. Confirm all details prior to each date. Texting and chatting during the date is inappropriate date etiquette...again making the date that you're currently on feel special is whats important. And unless your a big eater like me, decide which date you want to eat a full course meal.

Yep, 2 dates in one day...Let the fun begin. Gotta go my 1st date is in 30 minutes ;).

Emotional Sex

I had a friend tell me recently that the sex was so good it made her cry. I shared that she was not alone. I've had similar sex situations. But what is the crying really about.....

I've cried because...OH YES!!!!! It was absolutely mind blowing. I had no control of anything at some point and then I realized that tears were running down my face. Was it really that good or was it some deeper emotion behind the tears....like DAMN, this is the LAST time sex, why dose he cheat on me sex, the I've missed you and this right here (this shit right here) sex, the long time no see sex, and of course the make-up sex.

But, isn't that actually an oximoron? Should you really be crying during sex? Sex releases indorphins and adrenaline into your body during sex-so what the hell is going on with our minds that we over ride the pleasure sensations and crying begins. Additionally, Isn't that kinda weird, that not only tears are running down your face your nose will also begin to run and you'll have to start sniffling to try and control it. That's way too much going on.

Damn, emotional sex. I'd much rather the sex that knocks me out-sleep immidetaialy after. Or the non commital sex that allows me to dap him up and say "Thanks, same time same place-next week". Because if I'm crying, then I love and am in love with him and that's a whole nother blog for a whole nother day.......

Do I like Girls?

Hmmmmmm, so it's Friday. What kinda of trouble could I get into tonight? There's always the club, for dancing. Maybe a lounge for having a cocktail? Dinner with friends or a friend. And sense I'm thinking trouble a movie is out. I want a little bit more excitement. I think I'll call one of my friends and suggest the strip club. More specifically, one of my guy friends...

So, just because I like girl strippers does that mean I like girls? Some would argue yes, but I beg to differ. There is something a little wrong with men tieing things around their penis' to maintain their erections during their performance. Further, I've never thought watching their penis's swinging back and forth like soap on a rope was sexy. Yeah, their suave moves and pelvic thrust can be a little stimulating. Their bodies are typically really nice so their ability to pick up the biggest girl in the room can be pretty impressive, but ho hum. That gets old. AND, I think a large percentage of them are actually homosexuals.

Now on the other hand, women exotic dancers are just that-exotic. They are much more creative, more sensual and shit sexy. They also have some pretty nice bodies-some bought and some work out to maintain, but sexy none the less. And yeah, there are some of them out there that should have quit along time ago-as they have lost their attrait sexuel!, but hey I'm sure it still pays the bills. And I don't see nothing wrong with acknowledging another womans beauty and or sexuality. I'm quite confident in myself. May even learn a few moves.

I also think going to the strip club with your significant other can be kinda fun. You talk about the crowd, the dancers, watch your man flirt alittle, maybe even flirt alittle yourself and then take all that excitement home. Yeah, GENTLEMAN'S clubs are just better!

YEAHHHH....Gonna go call my boy, we're gonna make it rain tonight.

Wax Much?!

Remember that scene in Sex in the City when Samantha glanced over and saw a bush growing from Miranda's crotch? Ok, yeah...true story! A very good friend of mine (& when you read this you know I LOVE you!!!) Has (well since the incident I believe she has taken care of the issue, or at least hope so!) Had a forest growing from her crotch!!! It is or was ridiculous (i pray she's taken care of it)!!! And this is the same chic that boast about keeping it tidy down there and that her man has to as well. If he doesn't he needs to conform. Additionally, at some point made me reconsider my own personal hygiene habits, of waxing.

So when I saw the rain forest running down her legs. I had to say something. Only a really good friend would. I mean, I wasn't trying to look that direction. I don't typically just look at womens' crotches (unless I'm at the strip club, but I digress) But when the Goonie GOO GOO came out the shower and decided to air dry. I couldn't help to not only notice, look, but stare in awwh-that she had an entire wooded area between her legs. How could I allow her to continue to let herself go about like that. How could she let it get so bad?! And further WHY?!

Ok so, I know she hadn't been in a sexual relationship in awhile, But DAAAYYYYYUUUUUMMMMM!!!! It had to be stopped. Whether in a relationship or not. It must be done for self preservation! It is not acceptable to plant your own trees about. And Further, men... I must implore you to do the same! Additionally, when sending photos of your little man; while you may be proud...please consider ensuring that a jungle does not lie beneath.

We must keep is sexy! Not just for them, but for ourselves!!!!!

We all Need Therapy

I actually went to school to become a Dr. To become a psychologist (the other ones prescribe medicine-that's too much responsibility). So I get and understand the importance of talking to someone about your issues. But not just anyone, a trained professional, who can give you real and unbiased feedback.

So, after numerous life crisis...divorce, serious life threatening surgery, unemployment and depression I couldn't pretend to be that strong woman I always portrayed to everybody. I needed a therapist! And needed one quickly or things were only going to get worst...

And I learned...Yep, you guessed it. My ass is CRAZY-like the rest of us. Oh, but it's perfectly normal, so my therapist says. And yep, it's all my mother and fathers fault. Damn parents. LOL.

No but really, I've learned a lot about myself and am growing mentally and emotionally with each session. I would recommend it to everybody. Life brings challenges and we can't always handle them all.

Shit, we all need therapy!

Just thought I'd ask

For several years now, I've had e-mail chats with friends about various dating, relationship, all types of sex topics and more stuff. A lot of them sparked interesting conversations.

So, I thought I would throw a few of those topics out there to see if it catches the attention of any of my readers. Feel free to comment as, some may like your responses to the topics-for I am not all knowing of the sex and/or relationships. I myself am currently single and practicing celibacy-and NOT by choice. But I sure like to talk about it....

-Dating your EX...Good idea bad idea?
I say do what makes you happy, but know the consequences and don't be mad at yourself in the morning.

-To fetish or to be prudish?
Depends on the fetish...I may like it

-To wax or not to wax
I say just keep it tidy. No one wants to be in someones messy kitchen

-What is the proper way to approach oral sex. How does a man or woman ask for oral sex without just assuming that the other person is willing to provide the service.
Hmmmmm, I guess I like it as much as the next girl. But you can't just do that to every body. Gotta watch for hygiene patterns.

-Swinging, it's just not for playgrounds anymore.
I say, whatever keeps the momentum going in the relationship. And if you both like it then go for it. I mean they have conventions......

-Role playing?
I've never done it, but I'm willing to try, I like dressing up.

Well those are just a few of those kinds of topics. Let me know what you think. I could go on for days...maybe one of the topics catches your eye and wanna comment. Or would like me to explore the topic further.....

Decision Making

So, I'm just getting home from what was a required meeting for my son's school. It was for parents and their teens to discuss teen driving responsibility and mostly drugs and alcohol.

I'm more than confident that my son is far from the pressures of drugs and alcohol. Saying "no" is not a problem for him. My fear is the driving. The percentage of car accidents which were caused by or included teens is vast. The numbers are alarming. I'm sure that my son is and will be a safe driver but it's the other idiots on the road that I'm worried about.

But the meeting's real focus was on teens-drinking and driving. More than 75% of the students said they wouldn't drink, but would be the designated driver for their friends. Wait, hold on...so my first concern is. The students have friends that drink?! None of the parents were concerned with that part of the scenario. Wow!!! I wanted to discuss that further. But instead, we discussed being sure that they called home to say they would be late for curfew, oh and by the way I'm also driving my drunk ass friends home. WTF?!?!!? The consequences behind a). and Number 1....getting stopped by the police!!! then b). driving past curfew. c). driving with drunk teens in the car. So, hmmmm why were we not discussing the foundation of telling the students not to drink at all. Moreover, that if there is drinking at the party they need to bring/take their asses home? So the ramifications....a). and Number 1...the designated driver looses his license (from 6mths-1 year) and has to attend classes, possible community service, oh and receive fines for each drunk ass friend in the car. Oh, and the friends receive citations as well. Also possible rejection from a preferred college they wanted to attend. And last but not least, the inability to say no I've never been arrested on ANY application.

So, why was it OK to let the majority of students in the room agree to be the designated driver, regardless of the consequences? Why weren't we more focused on our children's decision making of who their friends are and what they do at parties. Guess our priorities and values are just different.

Well, I said my peace but that turned into the parents being content with their children communicating with them about drinking-being and getting drunk. WTF!!!

So now, I just pray that my son decides to stay away from their children.......

Receiving Help

I heard an interesting topic on the radio this morning...it was about the welfare/food stamp system and how people abuse it. People called in and sent in e-mails to the radio station and there were mixed reviews about "abuse" and/or the advantages of the system. So it got me to thinking....

I remember my mother receiving "welfare" and food stamps...it was shortly after her divorce. I remember being so embarrassed when we would go grocery shopping and she woulds pull out a coupon book-food stamps (but I was not ashamed to eat-the food that was purchased by food stamps). She had looked for a job but it did not come quickly nor easy. She received the benefits until she started working again. Hmmm, abuse? I don't think so, what were her other options? Who was going to help her? And unfortunately, she nor many of us are lucky enough to marry rich/wealthy and anticipate a large child support and/or alimony check.

Abusers...supposedly, they continue to have more children to get more money. Wow! Really?!?! ...nine months plus 18 years of a child just to get benefits?!?!hmmmm, (can't be worth it). Or sometimes they lie about their situations to possibly get more money. LOL, they claim other peoples kids or say certain people do OR don't live with them and that NOBODY else is helping them. OK! Well, whether they are abusers, liars, right or wrong. I don't know their circumstances but if they need the help to avoid eviction, going hungry and taking care of their children then so be it. It's them that will have to deal with the truth in the end.

Personally, going into the Department of Human Services building is a humbling experience. It allows you reflection on the ability and the blessing to have a job. It makes you appreciate your checks. Recipients of temporary cash assistance (thats what it's called these days) and food stamps have to subject themselves to telling some stranger all their personal and financial business and why they are in a particular situation. Further they have to prove all of it with documentation. Telling anyone only a little bit of my personal business, I get uncomfortable. All this is done to only receive possibly 1/2 the monthly salary they were earning when working. It's barely enough to honestly live off of.

While sitting in the office, listening to babies cry, watching children run around, ear hustle why people are there and complaining about how long they've been there. It dawns on you that your number still hasn't been called. Giving you only more time to think...for those of us who work everyday to earn a check, which taxes and premiums for insurance comes out of, we then have to take a percentage out to go grocery shopping, buy miscellaneous items for the house, diapers for the baby, oh and you can't forget bills and rent and of course the little bit of difference to live off of-isn't much. But, I would still much rather be at work for 8 hours then sitting in that office.

To me, Receiving help for a short period of time, is and should be just that. But working and earning a living is helping yourself!

Who Can Hang Out?!

When I had my childen in my twenties,everybody had something to say. Comments included...your life is over (at least for the next 20+ years), you won't finish school and the one I remember most...all your fun days are over.

Hmmm, well I proved all those nay sayers wrong. My life wasn't over, I finished school and my fun had just begun!!! Yeah, I might've missed some cool trips and or parties but I've certainly made up for that and continue to do so. I enjoy raising my kids and they've turned out to be pretty damn good kids.

But now, in my thirties...my kids are pretty much grown up and need little to no "real" supervsion. So, I ask "Who can hang out?" Most of my then and current hang out buddies have toddlers and infants. Now that we're grown, actually have the money to truely enjoy a great trip or hang out nobody can. So, now I think...who's life is really over? Does life really have to be over because you have kids? I think not!!!

Damn it, my hang out buddies need to drop their kids off at my house for the weekend and we need to head to MIAMI!!!! Ok, well at least ask their baby daddy's to suck it up and watch the kids...We'll be back Monday night. LOL

Hospital Doctors

So, last week I had to take my children to the ER. I've gone to the same hospital for the past 17 years no matter how far I've lived from it. My thought process is, ALL our records are there, I know the Dooctors, Going to another Hospital and then providing all my information again is a pain, not knowing the Doctors at another hospital is uncomfortable, having to only follow up with my primary physcian at that hospital later is so much more convenient. So, that's where I go and that's where I'll stay.

A good freind of mine was able to accompany me. So as we sat and waited for registration and triage several very good looking Doctors walked by, smiled and spoke pleasantries. After about the 5th or 6th Doctor, my friend says. "There are some very attractive Doctors here, I don't think I've ever seen this many good looking Doctors ever at 1 time. Is that why you come here?" I quickly responded "no" and provided her with my now practiced answer for the past 17 years.... But much later as I sat and listened to the very good smelling, good looking, bed-room eyes having, athletically built, perfect teeth, seductive smile, charming and educated orthopedic surgeon it hit me-did I really continue to come to this hospital to get my eye candy fix? Was and has it been a subconcious behavior. It had never occured to me that it may infact not been my previous reasons, but possibly because of the very good looking Doctors. They were and are always very handsome. Thinking further, I also never went to the ER in sweats and sneakers, but heels, cute jeans and lip gloss applied.

Well gotta go, the kids have their follow up appointments this afternoon.

Must Do to Keep My Boo

I think in love there has to be some give and take, a level of compromise that works for both parties. I think this compromise should be recognized early on in the relationship to maximize on the relationships fullest potential.

I think learning your partners likes and dislikes can be helpful in the early stages, to set the tone of give and take for the future. Through out the relationship you should be deligent in your execution of recognizing his/her likes and ensuring happiness.

You must know and keep in mind at all times, there is always someone vying for your position. So you must create your MUST DO to KEEP MY BOO list.....

I like and know that I need and want-love, trust, honesty, support, respect, laughter, happiness, attention, a lover and friend. I like movies, plays-theater, family outtings, vacations with family and/or just us. Love romance, intimacy and all things sexy. I like the random for no reason calls during the day, cards, text and/or e-mails to say "Hey, I love you. Just thinking about you". Our quiet time together and watching him sleep. I can go on. But My Dislikes start with smokers, rude and obnoxios men, the judgemental type, physical and verbally abusive type, liars (which includes but is not limited omission of any information, deciet, manipulation and the inability to be forthcoming, transparent, truthful and honest), CHEATERS! Don't want to always have to cook and clean, can't be dumb, the inability to make me laugh and or smile is huge. And I can go on in this category too.

Hmmmm, so I knew my ex husband liked me to cook and clean.
But I didn't know he liked oral sex.

Guess my list was too long for him though.....

Be Careful What You Ask For

After many years of an exhausting marriage. I knew exactly what I wanted and needed in my next mate. I also knew exactly what I didn't want. At some point I began to write a book. I created a character that some would only think existed in their dreams.

He was the perfect guy...He was tall dark and handsome (oh, yeah and bald....I like 'em bald). Smart, charming, nicely built (in shape at least-worked out and cared about his health. He was fluent in a few languages, was a chef, enjoyed traveling, had a nice home (2 or 3), nice cars, and a career that allowed him all the liberties.

In my book, he swept me off my feet and it was all too good to be true-we fell in love and lived happily ever after....THE END.

Yeah, but then I really met him. All of the things listed above and then some. He was my prince charming, knight in shining armor, Morris Chestnut, Tiger Woods, Justin Timberlake, Reggie Bush, George Clooney, Boris Kudjo, Brad Pitt (you get my point) all rolled into one. However...and boy do I mean HOWEVER. Was I in for a huge awakening. I feel in love and feel in love hard. He in fact swept me off my feet and then snatched the rug away. We had huge trust and communication issues. We fought as much as we loved. *(specific stories in another blog)* I still and will always love him.

I just wish I could ask for it all over again and this time be even more specific than his ability to cook me a gourmet meal and make love to me in different languages....

Attention Seeker

I think it's important that women love themselves, keep themselves up, be confident, be and stay sexy for themselves. I also think a little attention from the opposite sex helps me love me more. Makes me want to stay on top of my game. So, I think dressing up, throwing on some make up (a little or a lot, whatever suits your fancy) and just simply going to the grocery store to get a little attention is good for the soul. There is also shopping and buying yourself something nice, a spa treatment can work, maybe working out, or maybe just some you time. Whatever it takes to love you! I love me! And it's OK to say it and do it.

My self love is SHOES (that's the buying myself something nice part), I like putting on make-up (especially eyelashes) and my newest thing is my new push up bra. And every once in awhile, I get dressed-throw on some make-up (mascara and lip gloss), my new bra, jeans and cute shoes. (I feel good when I look good) And then head out for some simple attention.

I Luv football, so on a Sunday...I'll head to a local bar and order a beer. Yes a beer, men pay attention to women that drink beer. And I engross my self in the game(s). At some point, some guy may get up the courage to actually speak. Whether he speaks or not is not the point. But I saw him looking.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm quite secure and definitely don't need a man to validate my sexiness. But it's nice to see them watch and nice to know I still got it.

Women take so much time and energy loving everybody else, that we can sometimes overlook ourselves. Self love is good, no it's GREAT and we should do it more often!!! Whatever, your approach. Like NIKE...just do it!

So, I'm headed to Chili's...

Hang Over

So, I like to socially drink on occasion. And with drinking comes the grown up responsibility to know when to say when. That sometimes becomes a problem when I learn I'm not the designated driver for the night. So, I unfortunately forget the responsibility part and end up inebriated. And with inebriation out comes my alter ego. And with my alter ego out comes-who knows? Well except the people I'm with.

The next day, I learn I've (well she) has done or said some pretty crazy things. (These stories will be told at another time)But I've learned to laugh at her. But what is not a laughing matter is the black out of the rest of the night after the hmmm lets say 4th/5th REMY (Martin VSOP Cognac) neat or the 3rd/4th shot of Patron (tequila). And depending on the night (meaning a REMY night or Patron night) Various things could've happened. But I digress....

So, I typically remember dancing and with who, most conversations, how many times I had to go to the restroom, closing out my tab and walking to the car. But something happens when I get to the car. I think it's the fresh air and once I've inhaled, the events of the night are gone. I hate when that happens. But even more is the damn hangover the next morning. The I can't and don't wanna move to even go to the bathroom, yucky feeling I have in my stomach-think another drink might help, but don't want to vomit if I really reach for the bottle and last but not least. The throbbing sensation in my head that not only says "Your ass needs to stop drinking" but the sound of the Notre Dame cathedral bells...ringing right there in my room.

And damn where do my clothes go? Who and Why are they taking off my clothes?....