Anybody out there?

I read or maybe heard a quote about relationships, 'the greater the hurt and pain the harder the process to heal.' and with that I began to think... WOW, so will I ever heal? I'm convinced I'm damaged goods at this point. I have NO want, need, or desire to give my love to anyone anymore. Nor do I even feel like being bothered with relationships. So, I must agree with the quote...and acknowledge my journey of healing to be a great feat, if not even impossible.

I've let myself go...even grow; remember I still have a goonie goo goo growing between my legs. I now pull my hair back, more often than usual. I've decided to wear clothes for comfort versus my super cute ensembles, during my outings. AND I've resorted to flats when I go out-Very odd! Because if you follow my blog; you know I LOVE my stilettos! I'm down right mean to any man that tries to talk to me now. And I must say, my attitude toward men in general these days SUCKS!!! I just don't care and don't want to try anymore. None of this is to be concluded that...I'm now bitter and or have no self love. On the contrary!!! I am absolutely not bitter, but better! And I absolutely love myself. My priorities have just changed...and loving or giving love to undeserving men is not important to me anymore!!!

I do however, remember great love and what it felt like... So on my journey, I do I wonder...is there anybody out there?!

Is there anybody out there that can or will make me laugh and smile like he did? Is there anybody out there that can or will love me like he did? Will he care for and take care of me? Will we talk and play? Will we go here, there and no where? Will he pull my card and put me in check when I need to be spanked? Will he spank me?! Is there anybody out there that will hold me at night like he did. Will he look in my eyes and I know what it means? Will he understand my sporadic whims and fluctuations of love making and fucking? Is there anybody out here even deserving of what I have to offer? Will he appreciate me and cherish my heart? Will he know me? Is there any body out there that will love ME?

Is there anybody out there that could help me on my journey of healing? And if he's out there, would I even give him a chance?

Conversation with The salseman...

We just met! We've chatted. We had lunch. We had 1 drink!
Why would I want to go back to your place? What is MY motivation? I'm not attracted to you. And nothing about you screams...'hot, sexy, lover'

FYI, I hate overly aggressive and way too persistent men. The salesman tactics don't work on me...the whole sale me a red popsicle, while wearing my white gloves in ninety degree weather...doesn't and will never work unless I want it to...

No...you're not a good catch. I don't find you attractive. Your conversation is boring. And no, you're not the man of my dreams. And absolutely not...I don't NEED you. Yeah, I probably would look good holding your hand...but that's because I look good anyway. And yep, everybody needs love...but I don't need yours. I choose to be alone, because of men like you. Oh additionally, I love me more than I would ever love you. So....Econ 101, consumers buy what they want... and I don't want you!!!

You're sales pitch SUCKS!!!