Lesbian Sister?!

*screaming*

"NO, I will not be!!!! I like BOYS!!!!"

I had been minding my own mom business in my room and was trying very hard to avoid getting involved in another sibling scuffle. But this one seemed like I had to inquire...

"What is going on? What are y'all arguing about?" I was not ready for the answer nor the conversation...

*screaming*

My, dumb brother wants me to be a lesbian.

Wow, OK. Like I said, I was not ready for the answer nor the conversation and should have continued to mind my own mom business. So I had to ask to get the full story...here's what I learn...

My son wants (I leave this in present tense because it is still the case) my daughter to be a lesbian because he doesn't want to have to worry about beating up the boys/men that will hurt her in the future.

Hmmm, FYI. Women can and will hurt her just like men.

I learn further that he wants her to be a lipstick lesbian and to only like lipstick lesbians, that he could also be attracted to. Double WOW! WTF! Where did I get him from? And where did he get that thought process?

So then the question... "Mom would you be mad if she wanted to be a lesbian?"
Hmmm, of course I wouldn't, I love love men but know there are some beautiful women out there that need love too. But do I say that out loud?

So I respond, "Of course not, she can like and love who she wants to like and love regardless of sexual orientation." Proud of myself, feeling confident that, that was the appropriate answer! Right?!

*screaming"

"Mom, I Like BOYS!"

I guess wrong answer. She wanted me to confirm her sexuality and fondness to boys and only boys. I was suppose to answer with a strong, "Yes, I would be mad" But would I really? Would, why and does it matter when our girls are lesbians but angry and in denial when our boys like boys? Why is that the case? HMMMMM. Tough one. So I just said I wanted her to be happy with who she loves, and she loves Boys! Great come back and fix mom.

So we concluded that lesbian nation was not in her future. I actually didn't and wasn't ready to discuss my daughters sexuality. That's my baby girl. She's not ready, I'm not ready and obviously her brother is not ready!

But honestly, I was just wondering...what type of women my daughter would like? I know what type I like...
But I didn't say that out loud either.

Ungrateful

How and why does a woman get a good man and let him go. How and why does a woman get a man but she doesn't appreciate all that he does for her? How and why does a woman marry a man that she actually doesn't like but stays...because she knows he's good to and for her. How do good women miss out on good men, that end up with ___________I won't call 'em that, you fill in the blank.

So, I have a friend (well not really a friend, more like an acquaintance) who is married to a really great guy. And when I say a great guy...I mean the works hard (to provide for his family), cleans (washes clothes and dishes and makes sure the house is germ free every weekend), takes care of his woman (the running of bath water after a long day, feet and back rubs, warming up the car in the winter, taking it to get washed and every three month maintenance)nurturing the children and NOT cheating kinda great guy. He has a good job, doesn't live with his mother and is actually good looking. He does community service AND goes to church. Yep, just a great guy.

Everyone knew he loved her by the way he looked at her. (You can always see it in a mans eyes. when he really loves a woman) He proposed to her at an NFL football game in front of millions and they had a BEAUTIFUL wedding (that I of course planned and coordinated)... He bought her a gorgeous house, nice car and they even take vacations...But she wasn't happy then and not happy now. So why the hell did her ass get married. Why did she take him off the market and not allow some other more grateful woman take advantage of Queendomness (yes I free styled that one).

It bothers me greatly! It bothers me that even when he is busting his ass to make her happy, she finds any and everything to complain about. While he continues to run about oblivious to her complaining only feet away. It bothers me even more, that on the days that she has decided to nag, bitch and moan at him. That he often sits in denial excusing her for her behavior stating "she's just having a bad day"?! Yeah, a 10+ year long bad day. And when he's drunk enough to talk about it, he blames himself. WTF!!!!! He doesn't even beat her LMAO. (I do NOT condone physical abuse or domestic violence...it was just a joke).

Where do we find these men. Where are they hiding? And how and why did I miss the draft for that army of men, so I could sign up? She has no idea how good she has it, and won't step outside her own ego and selfishness to see it. She is emotionally abusive, which can be as damaging as physical abuse and doesn't even kow it. She will never leave him and he will never leave her. Pity!!! I suppose that I should be happy that she has a good man. But I can't when she treats him so poorly. I should be happy that there is still hope out there for other women, to find a great guy. I should just mind my business but...

Her ass is truly ungrateful.

Cool with the EX

Is it really possible to be cool with your ex? Is hanging out platonically actually doable? I can confidently say yes, but only for myself. You see, I haven't been in love with my ex for YEARS!!! I'm not attracted to him in anyway and I barely like him. So sex thoughts NEVER cross my mind...I didn't necessarily like it when I was with him then so I'm more than positive I won't like it now. But don't get me wrong, I care about him deeply, but have no interest in rekindling anything at any point. We are just cool.

So, it's funny to hear that all his current girlfriends are concerned about us being cool. They seem extremely jealous and overly insecure about me. I get that I'm the mother of his children, we have history and I happen to still look as good as I did 15 years ago if not better now. And of course, no one can ever hold a match to me in being able to really be the one he truly loves. But hey, I digress.

My thought however is, who she/they should really be more worried about is him....I get that he still loves, wants to be with me, blah, blah, blah. I'm the mother of his children and still hott, blah, blah, blah. We still can make each other laugh and have a good time together blah, blah, blah. Did I already say and I'm still cute? LMAO!(I'm feeling myself today...good therapy session, glass of wine, oh and I have my lip gloss and heals on today):) But I reiterate...that's not for us anymore. Additionally, not only is he still trying very hard to reconcile, he is also still very hard at work in his old habits of entertaining several woman. He now feels comfortable to do it right in front of me.... So why is it me, that she/they are so concerned about? HMMMMMMM,

So is it hypocritical to question my guy friends relationships with his ex(es)? Is it wrong that my gut tells me 'bullshit' that he is no longer attracted to her/them and or that they are not or haven't been intimate? Does it make sense that I'm completely insecure that his ex(es) are sexy, successful and may have pleased him sexually better than I ever did? Is it crazy when he tells me, that none of those relationships are for him, not interested in reconciliation for any of them,that he is not attracted to them and that they are just cool?! Hmmm, he's just cool with his ex my ass... They still talk (probably more than we do) and text and e-mail too for that matter. They hang more than we do. Shit, their actually more of a couple than we are...Yeah, cool with his ex.

Get Out of Your OWN Way

Women have an idea or vision of what we want our soul mate to be. We know what we want him to look like and how he dresses from head to toe. We hear his voice and know exactly how he will speak; every verb, noun, the slang or not and if he stutters or has a lisps. His walk and posture are sketched in out minds and is only gone when he walks away. And his very own scent lingers in our minds all day. He is and always will be specifically what I want. I mean, God did say, be specific! No detail of him is left out. So, the specific standards are set, we go forth and find.

We seem to find exactly what we were looking for over and over again. But for some reason the relationship(s) don't work. So we look again and again, to only be disappointed once Again. We do seem to find him repaeatedly only in different packages. We seem find him with major details missing. So we look again, with the missing details added this time to only fall short again. At the end of the day-what we've been looking may have been what we wanted but definately not hat we needed.

I'm not saying lowering our set standards are the answer. Standards are good but detailed standards are better. And after each relationship a new more detailed standard was added, providing more guidance for the next. But how long does this or can this go on? As the cycle continues great possibilities may have been missed.

It's been said repeadetly that there are "no good men out there". But where is everyone looking? Obviously the places that were searched before only produced the same results. No results-ended relationships and still, the sad single woman syndrome. As the missed opportunities walk by, many find them selves saying..."but he doesn't seem like anybody I would "He doesn't look like any of the men I've ever been with before." Hmmmm, maybe not but, he's probably what's needed.

All the specific Mr. Rights have been wrong and the guy who looks and seems like he's all wrong, maybe actaually Mr. Right!!!!

Sometimes we just gotta get out of our own way.

On to the Next One

How long should a person take to move onto their next relationship? Does it depend on how long the previous relationship lasted? Does it matter if you were just boyfriend/girlfriend or married? If you rush into the next relationship quickly does it mean that the previous relationship was less significant than one may have thought?

Whatever the answer, I definitely think finding and loving yourself again is critical. Additionally, carrying baggage into the next relationship isn't so good either. So, is a slow process with little to no communication better or easier? Or abrupt and done? Which ever, pace is important and we all have to do it on our own time.

So where to start? What's the approach? Maybe some "Me" time, for reflection and realization? Or drowning yourself into workout plans and work? Hmmmmm, maybe catch up with girlfriends that were neglected during the course of the relationship. Or catch up at old lounges/bars that were avoided during the relationship.

I have a friend that says "New sex, helps you forget about the old sex" And another says "Lots of new sex will get you an STD" LOL. Point made and taken, however...what happens on those lonely nights when you're alone and you have been for months and the sex just doesn't help anymore? When the girl friends go home to their boyfriends after all the catching up is done? What happens when the bars are closed? Or what if you guys were really good friends? Does your ex become your next?

Well, I'm no relationship expert and could or would not ever tell anyone how to move on to the next. I just know that on this ride of life and love the next ride should always be better than the one before!!!

Fools Rush In

This month several couples I know have celebrated and will celebrate their anniversaries. Each one 10+ years. They all met and married under different circumstances, but have managed to stay together. One couple sent me flowers and a thank you card-thanking me for them being together. I only took the credit for the introduction. While another couple still together, they seem strangely unhappy. I don't take credit for anything wrong with that one. Then there's the couples that others only dream to mimic, the ones that have been married 15, 20 and 25+ years.

But I also have a few friends that though together for many years are just not ready to hmmm lets say, make it official. They've been together for YEARS!!! Some with children others with none. They live as married couples but are hmmmm lets say (like Facebook) it's complicated. I support Happiness...whether married, in a relationship, or complications. Whatever it's called, I say do what's best for you!!!!

SOOOOOO.....Best maybe, taking your time...getting to know your partner; for however long that may take. Best maybe, taking your time....getting to know your partner-together;with no intentions of getting married; just being together. Best maybe, taking your time...getting to know your partner; as you plan your wedding. OR Best maybe.... Fools rush in.....

All the anniversaries being celebrated this month, they all did.

His Friend?!

Women know when their husband's or boyfriend's friends like and flirt with us. And we also know if and when we give it attention. So is it ok that after you've broken up that you can then hang out, like and flirt back with him. And do you tell your ex? Do you get or need his approval? Do you or can you have sex with him and or possibly consider marriage? And what if you and your ex get back together after said relationship occured. Is that weird? Is it wrong and do you at any point ever tell your ex? And who is or was the aggressor when the circumstances were presented?

I've been in, know some of my girls have been in and a couple of my girls are in such situations....So let's explore this.....

-Flirting back and then hanging out-> I think ok, but ONLY, after the relationship is over and as long as you don't have sex with the friend!
-Having sex with the friend-> Never tell the EX! Just NEVER have sex with the friend hmmm or maybe the EX again.
-Having sex and then deciding to marry the friend-> I think a REAL conversation is in order!!! But don't have sex with the EX again. LOL.

DAMN his sexy friends!!! Why wasn't it his friend before it was him? But HMMM, would it just be the same thing but the Ex was the FRIEND????

LMAO!!!