Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Monogamous Man?!

Is there a such thing as a monogamous man or if men can really be in a monogamous relationship....

***I actually think some men can be and want to be monogamous... but don't know how. I think they want and need companionship in life but just can't seem to get it right. I think the player thing and all the variety has to get old and at the end of the day, being a player I'm sure can be and gets lonely.

I actually think a man can have a really hott, attractive woman with everything he wants type, but still want something else. Because even if with the hotter, more attractive and gives it up more and better, there is always...Temptation! Which should be just that, temptation. The 'wants', the 'feels good' and 'desirable', but that doesn't necessarily mean he has to act on it. Is it really men's egos? Do men really need or have to fuck all the women they can?

And what about the internal?! The emotional and mental make up of a woman?! Who a woman really is and her character make up?! Hmmmm, and do men really look for that woman that has their equal philosophies and morals in life. Or better yet, think about if that woman has their equal sexual desire?!

I think we are all sexual beings and some men are just more than others. Biologically, I don't think men are meant to be monogamous. They are hard wired to find the best mate to propagate our species. And although some species do exhibit monogamous behavior, I believe it is less common in primates overall.


So, I wonder if an open relationship could or would fix some of those relationships that can't handle the monogamy. Does that mean, when you agree to an open relationship that the couple actually just wants to keep their options open for something better. And that the couple is settling until that better comes along?! So, is that couple then not considering that the current is the best?! Hmmm, and what about catching feelings with another person while being in an open relationship? If the open relationship is in place to just keep the couples options open, I suppose I wouldn't recommend hanging around for too long if monogamy isn't going to be an option.

So what is acceptable for a woman to agree or not agree to in her relationship?
And are women then lowering their standards and requiring less of men because they are afraid to lose them? I suppose a lot of women do things out of insecurities and don't want the "possible" good one to get away. But then let him get away with bullshit... with fears of not getting or finding better?! Unfortunately, I think it's hard for women to be truly secure with themselves because men keep us on the fence. I think women are insecure by nature and often measure, compare and compete with other women. Because of and for men. We compare and second guess our looks, worth and physical value's instead of doing it for ourselves.

I actually think commitment and exclusivity mean different things, people seem to intertwine them, which makes relationships difficult. I do however, believe that commitment means a man is ready to be in a relationship... BUT it doesn't necessarily mean he will be exclusive or monogamous, which by definition means...The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time. I think with commitment he just decided to be committed, which by definition means...A pledge or the state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons to one woman. And with the commitment, it's not whether he can be monogamous, it's whether he can admit that he is and will be.

Unfortunately, I just don't think people have old morals anymore...I don't think there is respect for relationships, commitment and exclusivity anymore. What happen to peoples sense of self and self worth? Moreover the importance of love, sex, relationships and what it all really means.


Sooo, with all that blah, blah, blah and blah said...I know I'm a sexual being, I know I have strong sexual desires but doesn't mean I have to go elsewhere if they're not being met at every moment. I absolutely believe in a committed relationship. I'm old fashioned, with old time morals and views on relationships. I love love, I want to grow old with someone. I like being a committed and FAITHFUL person. I refuse to gamble with my health with multiple partners and would hope that my partner feels the same... when it comes down to it, if you love someone, and truly do, why would you want anything else? Sure, the relationship may have it's low points...those ugly, bad and worse times. And sure maybe there are moments of wanting something new, different or whatever, but life and love isn't all about the physical and that's what people don't understand anymore.

Everyone is meant to find their diamond...a monogamous relationship in the rough. Diamonds are rare; but once you find it, you keep it, cherish it...because like diamonds...love is also forever.

Monday, May 24, 2010

BAr gaMes

Is it wrong that while chilling, having a drink and minding my own damn business...a guy began trying to talk to me and all I wanted to do was play the game at the end of the bar? You know the games that you have to feed quarters/dollars to play random puzzle, strategy, card or casino type games? You don't win and can just waste money...Worse part, I don't even play those games.

I guess, everybody has some type of game...some women may play; shy and passively flirty or outgoing and aggressively flirtatious. Some men may play; over confidant and over interested or swag like and charming or maybe even quirky, corny cute. Either way...conversation is SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

I was truly just wanting a night out, to watch the game, and to have a drink. I suppose I was in some kinda mood, but I know I didn't really want to be bothered. I mean I didn't even wear my heels... But without fail...some dude felt it his duty to come up to me and try to; I guess 'make my night'. He was unattractive, which didn't motivate me look at him. He was dressed like he had just got outta bed, so I was distracted by his lack of enthusiasm for his own outer appearance. And his topics of conversation were boring. His lame attempts to engage me in conversation about travel, college, career, and sports left me completely un-enthused and wanting to just put quarters in the machine next to me.

I felt sad for him, because he probably is a nice guy but has no clue how to talk to women. And the worse thing, was his over zealous actions of trying to be the man. There should be an FYI out there for men...some women can buy their own drinks! Some women actually watch and know about sports oh and some women don't give shit about how much money you make. Additionally, dumb ass pick up lines like... "you from Tennessee? Cause you the only ten I see", or "is your daddy a terrorist? Cause Girl, you are the bomb" DO NOT work! Dry ass humor, fake ass attempts to be prince charming and overly aggressive and egotistical behaviors are failures!!! At the end of the day, most women just want a guy to be cool, maybe have a little sense of humor and have thoughtful conversation. I think allowing us (the woman) to decide if we want to move forward in any direction of a relationship. frienship or NOT is the best play of the day!

So, I was completely annoyed and just wanted him to go away. The conversations around me seemed more interesting and I ear hustled as much as I could, trying to entertain myself. I eventually, swallowed my food down in 10 minutes and gulped my drink. I requested my check so I could just leave, I mean RUN and not even care about who won the game. The guy actually asked if I was a regular and mentioned hoping to see me again soon. I suppose without being completely rude, I was pleasant enough for him to think I liked him. But I just nodded and said, "maybe, enjoy your night".

He and his game were lame!!! I should've changed the mode and provided him with game strategies on how to step to a woman! Or, maybe, he would've got the hint if I had just played the game at the end of the bar.