It was AMAZE'N!!!!!

It's been a while since I've had the most mind blowing sex, that I even need to document it. But it happened. Everything about the experience was amazing. Our energy and chemisrty was so in sync. I think at some point, I had an outter body experience. My most inner being seperated from my physical body and simply floated in ecstasy bliss.

Simply put... IT WAS AMAZING!!!

What it all means...

Ok, so I did a few of those quizzes on facebook. They are soooo funny, but they are sometimes true. Like what your birthday means about you or what your zodiac means about you. So this is what I learned....I'm supposedly-Stubborn TRUE and hard-hearted NOT TRUE. Ambitious and serious CAN BE TRUE. Loves to teach and be taught TRUE. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses SO NOT TRUE. Likes to criticize DEF NOT TRUE. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy those are TRUE. Quiet unless excited or tensed LOL-NOT TRUE. Rather reserved CAN BE TRUE. Highly attentive TRUE. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. I Haven't had a cold in years. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love I LOVE EXPRESSING LOVE-so NOT TRUE. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious And the last 6 are TRUE!.Where do they get this shit? But the Sexy zodiac...All very TRUE! well with the exception of the owning of the Gemini in sports...I don't even get that.
Love to lust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predicts future. Irresistible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart.

So where do these quizzes come from? Who creates them? Even better question why do people believe it and then live by it! It's for shits and giggles! I found it interesting...shited and giggled-means nothing....except for the smart, cute, fun, sexy and good in bed, sexy zodiac part. LMAO!!!!

Feeling Down

I love birthdays! Birthdays are very special to me. Birthdays are your special day! And for as long as I can remember, I didn't go to school or work on my birthday!!! It is MY own national Holiday!

So, I'm normally planning and preparing for a great birthday week and weekend the first week of January. But this year I feel really down. Don't think anyone even remembered. I would have normally received calls or text asking what I was getting into for the weekend. Or lots of cards in the mail by now. But this year nothing!!! Friday and Saturday nights, I was in my house. I did No drinking, I did no dancing I had NO FUN! All of which I normally do and love to do the 1st weekend of January!!! And for the day of my birthday...yeah, I just don't know.

I will admit I've trimmed the fat in terms of friends and men. I'm down to little to no friends these days because, not all friend are good or even really true freinds. And as far as men go...I'm absolutley done with entertaining and maintaining men in my life that don't really care about me or only want to eventually have sex. I'm a smart, cute and funny girl! I deserve a man that loves me for me! I want one man to provide all my emotional, mental, and physical needs. And all the random guys in the world will never truely do that, especially if they have hidden agendas. But I digress...so maybe this wasn't the time to trim...and maybe I wouldn't be so pitiful right now.

I suppose even more I'm really down because I miss my mom. She's sick and I haven't spoke to her. And my mom NEVER forgets my birthday! (but what mom does?). She always sends a card and always calls everyday starting January 1 until nightfall of my birthday. We talk about what I'm gonna wear, where I'm gonna go and what I'm gonna do. Funny...I've done no planning at all. Kinda lonely in this planning process this year....

Suppose...I'll go to my most favorite breakfast spot, maybe do a spa treatment, window shop (a cute pair of shoes would definitly make me happy) and a nice bougie/fancy place for dinner.

Anything to get me outta this funk....

Maintaining the Entertaining

The definition(s) for maintain are 1. to keep in existence or continuance; preserve; retain, or 2. to keep or hold. And there are numerous definitions for entertain 1. to hold the attention of pleasantly or agreeably; amuse, 2. show hospitality to. 3. to admit into the mind; consider, 4. to hold in the mind; harbor; cherish.

So when putting all of the contextual definitions together and apply them to real life scenarios a number of definitions work. Like, to keep in existence to hold the attention of pleasantly or agreeably. Or another definition would be to keep, hold, or sustain to cherish. Equals this working sentence...He maintains (keeps in existence, or continues to preserve, retains) relationships with other women to entertain (hold the attention or show hospitality or cherish). HMMMMM, makes me think!

Why the hell do men continue to maintain and entertain women that they say they are not involved with?! And maybe I'm not being fair, I suppose women do it too, so I'll rephrase the following....Why maintain these relationships, i.e hold on to these women/men? Why continue to communicate, i.e entertain the bullshit.

Maintaining the Entertaining?!

It makes no sense. These relationships seem to linger because, I think the need to keep options open comforts some. I think games are played-of keeping nice...via text, e-mail, instant messaging etc. in the event of future opportunities for... I just don't think they are healthy for current relationships. Are these conversations or by chance meetings neccessary? Do these people mean that much, that any form of communication keeps the realtionship alive?

Women love such attention and if we're getting it from someone we use to be involved with, it makes it just that more special. So, to maintain communication or maintain any types of relationship with her/him I think is dangerous.

Someone once told me that entertaining leads to sex. I never thought that before and that may have been the intentions of the guys that I would chat with but never my thoughts. I just liked the communication. However, I do know that if I ever wanted to sleep with any of my random guy friends that I maintain entertainment with, they would surely oblige. So, what makes sense to me...is to not maintain the entertainment...

While we're together

Is it wrong that I want lots of attention from my man? When we're together is it wrong to want him to give me his undivided attention? Is it wrong that I'm upset that he seems to be somewhere else mentally and emotionally, because he's texting, e-mailing or instant messaging other women while we are together? And, isn't it rude or is it just me that he's texting other women when we're together? I think it's just wrong! Shouldn't I just be happy that we're together?

My thoughts...I wouldn't and don't do that shit to him...he would lose his mind. So, why does he choose to do it during our time together? I get when he takes business calls and random important calls...but the texting and maintaining of his bullshit ass women friends that he continues to entertain (maintaining the entertaining....another blog for another day!)annoys the hell outta me and YES!!! it's RUDE!!! And YES it's inconsiderate. He should know that I wouldn't be cool or comfortable with the scenario. Hate that he entertains these woman that he "use to mess (fuck) with" and he knows they still like and want to be with him. Hmmm, maybe he still wants to be with them? GRRRRRR. Maybe their that option on a rainy day.

HMMMM, but would it really make me feel better if he only did it when we were not together...because he would be doing it anyway? And why? Why are these lines of communication so important? More specifically, why are these lines of communication with other women so important while he's with me?! Why won't he just be with them then. Maybe, I'm boring him?! So then, are we really together if we're only together physically?

That's that Bullshit...while we're together.

Facebook F*CkS

If you went through your face book friends and counted...how many have you had sex with? What would that number look like? Do you still communicate with them? And Why? For future f*Cks? HMMMM. And do you send them b-day shout outs or respond to their status or comment on their photos? Do you send them the secret messages to their inbox? Why? What kind of friends are they really. Just thinking and asking. Assessing and reevaluating....Facebook Friends!?!?

Shit Happens

So, I've been away for a minute....haven't been really blogging. Haven't been on my facebook or even interested in e-mails. The last/latest blogs have been in draft form just waiting for me to push post....
So I pushed it. Nothing too great. I guess I'm kinda in a funk.

Unfortunately, the holidays sucked!!!! With way too much shit going on to name, talking or blogging about anything right now is the last of my interest....I just can't wait for 2009 to be OVER!!!! If my financial situation was better, my kids and I would've been on a beach somewhere. I figure they're too old to really believe in Santa. They get everything they want and need all year anyway. So why not spend all that money on a vacation! Then we can get away-assess, reevaluate and be better for the new year.

And yeah, I know Christmas is suppose to be about giving and celebrating the birth of christ, but I just wasn't in the spirit, mood or have the energy to do anything around christmas or the holidays. BAH Hum BUG!!! I hope and pray that 2010 is and will be better!!!

I've learned from my mistakes, went to thearpy enough to know that it's all my parents fault and I'm just crazy....LOL. I'm blessed to have great kids. The verdict is still out about true friends and what love is really about or will look like in my future. And love is so important in life...to love-give unconditionally and to be loved-with no judgements of who you are. But I have my health and happy to still have a roof over my head and food to eat. I just don't want NO MORE SHIT TO HAPPEN!!!!