Feeling Down

I love birthdays! Birthdays are very special to me. Birthdays are your special day! And for as long as I can remember, I didn't go to school or work on my birthday!!! It is MY own national Holiday!

So, I'm normally planning and preparing for a great birthday week and weekend the first week of January. But this year I feel really down. Don't think anyone even remembered. I would have normally received calls or text asking what I was getting into for the weekend. Or lots of cards in the mail by now. But this year nothing!!! Friday and Saturday nights, I was in my house. I did No drinking, I did no dancing I had NO FUN! All of which I normally do and love to do the 1st weekend of January!!! And for the day of my birthday...yeah, I just don't know.

I will admit I've trimmed the fat in terms of friends and men. I'm down to little to no friends these days because, not all friend are good or even really true freinds. And as far as men go...I'm absolutley done with entertaining and maintaining men in my life that don't really care about me or only want to eventually have sex. I'm a smart, cute and funny girl! I deserve a man that loves me for me! I want one man to provide all my emotional, mental, and physical needs. And all the random guys in the world will never truely do that, especially if they have hidden agendas. But I digress...so maybe this wasn't the time to trim...and maybe I wouldn't be so pitiful right now.

I suppose even more I'm really down because I miss my mom. She's sick and I haven't spoke to her. And my mom NEVER forgets my birthday! (but what mom does?). She always sends a card and always calls everyday starting January 1 until nightfall of my birthday. We talk about what I'm gonna wear, where I'm gonna go and what I'm gonna do. Funny...I've done no planning at all. Kinda lonely in this planning process this year....

Suppose...I'll go to my most favorite breakfast spot, maybe do a spa treatment, window shop (a cute pair of shoes would definitly make me happy) and a nice bougie/fancy place for dinner.

Anything to get me outta this funk....