Conversation with The salseman...

We just met! We've chatted. We had lunch. We had 1 drink!
Why would I want to go back to your place? What is MY motivation? I'm not attracted to you. And nothing about you screams...'hot, sexy, lover'

FYI, I hate overly aggressive and way too persistent men. The salesman tactics don't work on me...the whole sale me a red popsicle, while wearing my white gloves in ninety degree weather...doesn't and will never work unless I want it to...

No...you're not a good catch. I don't find you attractive. Your conversation is boring. And no, you're not the man of my dreams. And absolutely not...I don't NEED you. Yeah, I probably would look good holding your hand...but that's because I look good anyway. And yep, everybody needs love...but I don't need yours. I choose to be alone, because of men like you. Oh additionally, I love me more than I would ever love you. So....Econ 101, consumers buy what they want... and I don't want you!!!

You're sales pitch SUCKS!!!

Monogamous Man?!

Is there a such thing as a monogamous man or if men can really be in a monogamous relationship....

***I actually think some men can be and want to be monogamous... but don't know how. I think they want and need companionship in life but just can't seem to get it right. I think the player thing and all the variety has to get old and at the end of the day, being a player I'm sure can be and gets lonely.

I actually think a man can have a really hott, attractive woman with everything he wants type, but still want something else. Because even if with the hotter, more attractive and gives it up more and better, there is always...Temptation! Which should be just that, temptation. The 'wants', the 'feels good' and 'desirable', but that doesn't necessarily mean he has to act on it. Is it really men's egos? Do men really need or have to fuck all the women they can?

And what about the internal?! The emotional and mental make up of a woman?! Who a woman really is and her character make up?! Hmmmm, and do men really look for that woman that has their equal philosophies and morals in life. Or better yet, think about if that woman has their equal sexual desire?!

I think we are all sexual beings and some men are just more than others. Biologically, I don't think men are meant to be monogamous. They are hard wired to find the best mate to propagate our species. And although some species do exhibit monogamous behavior, I believe it is less common in primates overall.


So, I wonder if an open relationship could or would fix some of those relationships that can't handle the monogamy. Does that mean, when you agree to an open relationship that the couple actually just wants to keep their options open for something better. And that the couple is settling until that better comes along?! So, is that couple then not considering that the current is the best?! Hmmm, and what about catching feelings with another person while being in an open relationship? If the open relationship is in place to just keep the couples options open, I suppose I wouldn't recommend hanging around for too long if monogamy isn't going to be an option.

So what is acceptable for a woman to agree or not agree to in her relationship?
And are women then lowering their standards and requiring less of men because they are afraid to lose them? I suppose a lot of women do things out of insecurities and don't want the "possible" good one to get away. But then let him get away with bullshit... with fears of not getting or finding better?! Unfortunately, I think it's hard for women to be truly secure with themselves because men keep us on the fence. I think women are insecure by nature and often measure, compare and compete with other women. Because of and for men. We compare and second guess our looks, worth and physical value's instead of doing it for ourselves.

I actually think commitment and exclusivity mean different things, people seem to intertwine them, which makes relationships difficult. I do however, believe that commitment means a man is ready to be in a relationship... BUT it doesn't necessarily mean he will be exclusive or monogamous, which by definition means...The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time. I think with commitment he just decided to be committed, which by definition means...A pledge or the state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons to one woman. And with the commitment, it's not whether he can be monogamous, it's whether he can admit that he is and will be.

Unfortunately, I just don't think people have old morals anymore...I don't think there is respect for relationships, commitment and exclusivity anymore. What happen to peoples sense of self and self worth? Moreover the importance of love, sex, relationships and what it all really means.


Sooo, with all that blah, blah, blah and blah said...I know I'm a sexual being, I know I have strong sexual desires but doesn't mean I have to go elsewhere if they're not being met at every moment. I absolutely believe in a committed relationship. I'm old fashioned, with old time morals and views on relationships. I love love, I want to grow old with someone. I like being a committed and FAITHFUL person. I refuse to gamble with my health with multiple partners and would hope that my partner feels the same... when it comes down to it, if you love someone, and truly do, why would you want anything else? Sure, the relationship may have it's low points...those ugly, bad and worse times. And sure maybe there are moments of wanting something new, different or whatever, but life and love isn't all about the physical and that's what people don't understand anymore.

Everyone is meant to find their diamond...a monogamous relationship in the rough. Diamonds are rare; but once you find it, you keep it, cherish it...because like diamonds...love is also forever.

BAr gaMes

Is it wrong that while chilling, having a drink and minding my own damn business...a guy began trying to talk to me and all I wanted to do was play the game at the end of the bar? You know the games that you have to feed quarters/dollars to play random puzzle, strategy, card or casino type games? You don't win and can just waste money...Worse part, I don't even play those games.

I guess, everybody has some type of game...some women may play; shy and passively flirty or outgoing and aggressively flirtatious. Some men may play; over confidant and over interested or swag like and charming or maybe even quirky, corny cute. Either way...conversation is SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

I was truly just wanting a night out, to watch the game, and to have a drink. I suppose I was in some kinda mood, but I know I didn't really want to be bothered. I mean I didn't even wear my heels... But without fail...some dude felt it his duty to come up to me and try to; I guess 'make my night'. He was unattractive, which didn't motivate me look at him. He was dressed like he had just got outta bed, so I was distracted by his lack of enthusiasm for his own outer appearance. And his topics of conversation were boring. His lame attempts to engage me in conversation about travel, college, career, and sports left me completely un-enthused and wanting to just put quarters in the machine next to me.

I felt sad for him, because he probably is a nice guy but has no clue how to talk to women. And the worse thing, was his over zealous actions of trying to be the man. There should be an FYI out there for men...some women can buy their own drinks! Some women actually watch and know about sports oh and some women don't give shit about how much money you make. Additionally, dumb ass pick up lines like... "you from Tennessee? Cause you the only ten I see", or "is your daddy a terrorist? Cause Girl, you are the bomb" DO NOT work! Dry ass humor, fake ass attempts to be prince charming and overly aggressive and egotistical behaviors are failures!!! At the end of the day, most women just want a guy to be cool, maybe have a little sense of humor and have thoughtful conversation. I think allowing us (the woman) to decide if we want to move forward in any direction of a relationship. frienship or NOT is the best play of the day!

So, I was completely annoyed and just wanted him to go away. The conversations around me seemed more interesting and I ear hustled as much as I could, trying to entertain myself. I eventually, swallowed my food down in 10 minutes and gulped my drink. I requested my check so I could just leave, I mean RUN and not even care about who won the game. The guy actually asked if I was a regular and mentioned hoping to see me again soon. I suppose without being completely rude, I was pleasant enough for him to think I liked him. But I just nodded and said, "maybe, enjoy your night".

He and his game were lame!!! I should've changed the mode and provided him with game strategies on how to step to a woman! Or, maybe, he would've got the hint if I had just played the game at the end of the bar.

Wedding Weekend...

Weddings provoke all types of emotions. There is absolute joy for the happy couple. Depending if you're friend or family to the bride or groom you then can also feel sadness, to see them and how they have grown. If you have children of your own, you begin to think of how your child's ceremony may be. And the emotions are endless; the tears of joy, the emense happiness, and of course that thing called love. I love weddings, love to plan and attend them, but unfortunately have never had one of my own. We just went to the justice of the piece. I should've known then. LOL.

And so...this weekend, I went to a wedding and went through a wave of emotions. All types of feelings went through my body...happy, anger, joy, sadness, delight and even a little disappointment... But before I go into my pitiful emotionally unstable state...the weekend was GREAT!!!

The weather was perfect and beautiful, the ocean water was brilliant, ALL the food all weekend long was amazing, the hotel was fabulous, the people were pleasant, I had spectacular sex, and just had a phenonmeal weekend!!! We partied like rocks stars...gay men hit on my date (HILARIOUS!!!), I saw a completely naked man dancing with a pink boa, we danced and drank till who knows what time in the am, and I got toys from the sex store... Oh, and I looked cute, which always helps make the day/night that much better....

As for the wedding. The bride was georgeous and her ceremony was perfectly lovely...but as the day progressed, I fought back the tears the entire time. The occasion was joyous and I was delighted for the couple. But I couldn't help but think of my failed marriage and what marriage is about and what love really means. I have no regrets that I ended my marriage. It was the best thing I could've done for my self. But now, I never want to marry again. And I couldn't help think about the love of my life and his marriage. I can and will never understand how, I found myself in that situation and I don't know if I will ever fully recover from the experience. But what I couldn't help think about most was the concept of love...

We have no control who we fall in love with. And once you find and have love, it should be cherished. Love is special! Love should never be taken for granted and people have to really begin to value what it means when someone gives you love and their heart. Love should be protected always and can't and should never just be thrown away. I may never marry again, or get MY wedding. But I do know what love feels like...I know how it looks at me, holds me, smiles at me, and a love like that can never be replaced...

Through all the sadness, I felt love during a wedding weekend.

He DOESN'T AND won't Get IT *edited*

Nice guy, good guy, right things in place, wrong type...

A dude approached me in the mall one day. He gave me all the appropriate compliments and we exchanged business cards. I threw his away, but he called me. You see, I'm emotionally detached from the whole hooking up thing. I suppose I've been through alot in my previous relationships and I'm now very....distrusting of men;their intentions and their ability to be real, honest, faithful, truthful, exclusive, and appreciative. At the end of the day, I'm loving me and that's more important than any man right now.

...He called me a few days later. I honestly had hoped that he would've thrown my card away as well. But, since the card exchange we've chatted a few times and have gone out to eat twice... and I don't like him. We have nothing in common. I've been more than frank with him, and told him I'm not interested in developing a relationship, but he doesn't seem to get it. I've went on to tell him, that I'm damaged and am in no emotional place to start or develop a relationship. (I thought the info about an emotionally ubstable chic, would make himn run) But he is persistent and says that I've never had a man treat me the way he will and that I deserve a good man. He calls and text me everyday, and he expresses wanting to see me and spend time with me everyday. All nice and maybe even true...BUT, I don't like it or him.

WHY DOESN'T HE GET IT? Does he realize he WON'T EVER GET IT?

So then, I thought about it... Why don't I like him?! Why doesn't he get it? And why won't He EVER get it? BECAUSE, he is over confident! There are men who have no idea that they think they are the shit, but only smell like shit!!! They think they ARE the blessing to the world. BUT NOT!!! And they're, what they think is swag is only shit! Who the hell does he think he is? Just because HE thinks he looks good, dresses nice, has nice cars and a nice place etc. doesn't mean I am then SUPPOSE to like him. Am I doing him a favor to be with him? NO!!! I would be doing him a favor to be with ME!

And the conclusion is...I don't like overly confident men!!!

So, his DUMB ASS...HE DOESN'T GET IT AND HE WON'T GET IT!!!

wanna FUCK my friends

I have a very small number of friends and an even smaller number of female friends. For the few female friends I have, I would say they are pretty women. And it seems my men agree...

My ex husband tried to fuck two of my really good friends. He denies it to this day, but I don't believe him. The "real" story, I heard from my friends and their men and another third party. Their stories all made more sense then my ex's bullshit ass lie.

I also believe, No, know that "my lover" fucked a few of my friends. His story, was also bullshit. Hence, the short lived "romance". And to no surprise, I've learned that there may have been an opportunity for yet another...fuck my friend. Of course everybodies stories are conflicting, but there was obviously someones intentions...

What the hell goes through a mans head when he decides he wants to step to his girls friend. Why do men find this ok and acceptable. Whether your relationship is going through a rough patch or not, it is NEVER OK for a man to consider being with his girls friend. It is NEVER OK for your friend to be put in that situation, it's NEVER OK for your man to put your girl in that situation and it's NEVER OK for your man to be in that situation.

I will not befriend ugly woman, to avoid my man wanting to sleep with her. I will also never under estimate the thought process of my man wanting to be with one of my cute friends.... Someone told me, not to be so tough on the guy that I should consider the "friend" as well. Good point, however...the situation has presented itself one too many times. Same situation, different men, same cute friends = same BULLSHIT! I can't help but believe that the man is at fault. I have SEVERE trust issues.

Why do I have to think about all those things?

Destiny

A lot of people may not believe in astrology and the cosmos, but I absolutely do!!! My thesis, in obtaining my masters was "Astrology and You". I absolutely believe that your zodiac sign has everything to do with who you are as a person. I believe that when you were born and your character are directly correlated. I respect it to the utmost. The stars and the planets rotate, and believe it or not directly effect who we are and will be....

And with that said...I like tarrot cards and palm readers. In the past few years I've obtained my own destiny reader. I was a skeptic, but eventually believed... when she did my first reading and told me, I had babies in my future. I laughed it off; then came my daughter. She also read my son's future of private school and ultimate success; funny...my son is in private school and kicking ass. She also told me about the divorce of my husband. We know how that turned out. I tried hard to reject alot of her information, but things have come to pass, without fail. She has been very informative in various aspects of my life. She's been on point and almost scary to say the least...

Now fast forward to May 2010, she gave me a reading and to date...EVERYTHING is happening...My company is doing well. My children are and will continue to be successful. She provided info about my parents and social/love life. And most interesting and enlightening is that I'm in my Venus. And what exactly does that mean you ask....welp in lamens terms; men will be drawn to me, want me, want to be with, around and help me. And WOW!!!! The men have been coming out of the wood work. It's been crazy. Everywhere I go the men are there in my face. It's more than I've ever experienced. No complaints at all, but I wasn't expecting it. My networking and contract opportunities have increased. And the amount of men that seem to want to go out with me has also increased...CRAZY!

So, I believe in destiny. I believe that people are destined to meet. I believe that people are destined to be and do specific things. And with destiny, regardless of deviations from the journey if it is meant to happen, it will.