WOW!!! Who knew... that I even had that many followers. I got A LOT responses from my "What HE would get" blog (way too many to repost). Mostly, responses from men, which I didn't realize how many men readers I had. Thank you for letting me know you're out there and are interested. Unfortunately, like I've said in my previous blogs...I'm in such a bad place emotionally around love that though I have absolutely great qualities...I'm no good for anyone right now. HOWEVER, Men, I'll keep you posted *smiling* and *winking*. And ladies, thank you for your responses as well. I know that you too know your worth. We are queens! and if the men of your area don't know...they need to quickly recognize...they are missing out and will die LONELY!!!
So for the record...I promise I wasn't trying to advertise, it was just a blog. Thoughts go through my mind constantly about things that I experience, conversations I have or things that people say. Something clicks in my head and I think to myself.. other woman may have experienced the same thing or think about the same type things, but don't say anything; I am their voices...so I just say (blog) it out loud. I enjoy blogging, it's therapeutic and though I only personally know about 3 of my followers. It's nice to know that there are others that enjoy what I have to say. My "what HE would get" blog was really about my amazing dinner and eating it alone. It was about wanting to share it with someone who would appreciate the work that went into it. It was made with pure love. Something you would do for your LOVE. That blog was to comfort my lonely ego.
My blog....
A very close and important person in my life recently told me that they have shut down on talking to me about things because he didn't want his life on the world wide web. Additionally, he mentioned that one of my blogs was disloyal...so just typing these mere sentences have me cringing because I hate to upset the people that I love. I hate being in that catch 22 of my own happiness and not wanting to make who I love unhappy. But, my blog is for and about ME...MY feelings, MY thoughts, MY experiences. I realize it may involve others, but my intent is never to upset, offend or hurt anyone with my blogs. I had since considered to stop blogging... and then received my overwhelming responses to a silly blog about "me". Thank you... I'll keep blogging. I do fell hurt that he no longer wants to talk, share, and be naked with me...but I have used ALOT of discretion and feel that I remain loyal whether he believes it not.
THANK YOU Readers, THANK YOU FOLLOWERS!!!! More Sharp Life to come!!!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What HE would get...
I cooked an amazing dinner tonight (what I cooked is not important, just that I did cook a fantabulous meal and can cook like I should be a chef!) And today was a full day...I played taxi for my son, ran my business from my phone, drove a friend all the way to the furthest airport in the area (while chatting about the world cup), grabbed some groceries, consoled a crying friend, Oh and looked really cute while doing it all! Which got me to thinking... what a man would get with me...
And I promise I'm not being conceited, overly confidant, un-humble or DIVAish...just putting my GREAT qualities out there, cause I am in fact talented and blessed-to say the least. So here we go...
I am first and most important, an AMAZING mother! My children are great kids, well behaved, mannerable and smart. Oh and by the way go to phenomenal schools and kicking ass. I provide for them in the most spectacular and effective way that I sometimes have to step back and acknowledge my work. I encourage, motivate, support, discipline and nurture them at all times. They do me proud and I know they will take care of me when I won't be able to. So now that I have the (I would be a/am a) great mom thing outta the way...
I'm smart! Not just book smart with a college education smart, but street smart because I was raised by a crazy single mother (who had her own issues) in the hood, where I had to figure life out at 15. So, being in and from the hood, is comfortable to and for me. And I can handle my own. I obtained my college education while raising 2 kids and later went on to work on my masters. I can talk atoms, algebraic terms, Freud, Socrates, history, politics, and religion...So, smarts...is what I do!!!
I cook; Love to cook and do it well. I'm loyal; cheating is for losers. I clean and keep a clean home. I love sports; will watch and play any of them. And happen to be very competitive. I'm fun and funny; love a good sense of humor and love to laugh. I'm quite adventurous and up and open to whatever is in mind... But will and can also just chill at home. Oh and while at home...I like to please my man!!! take it how you want... I like sex! And happen to be pretty damn good at it too....
I'm a social butterfly and know my way around event planning and having a good time. I enjoy the cultural arts am familiar and enjoy many music genres. LOVE to dance. I'm a hopeless romantic, but fight it; fear of being hurt...so much rather just enjoy the party. I could go on in this area...
I've been told on more than enough occasions I'm attractive. So I guess, I'm cute... tall in height, slender in build. I have long and natural hair, which is quite versatile. I'm fair skin, inviting brown eyes and luscious full lips (so I've been told) and a winning smile. Sexy and confident...Yeah, model type...
So with all that said, I would say what he could get was pretty damn good. And yeah I know, I have issues like the next girl, shit like the next person. I'm not perfect, but who is. My issues are who make me ME! Shit, Love is not perfect, but loving the imperfections in the person you love.
But WOW, my dinner was so amazing I felt like sharing and thought about what he would get if I were his woman.
Yeah, like Beyonce'...Let me upgrade you.
And I promise I'm not being conceited, overly confidant, un-humble or DIVAish...just putting my GREAT qualities out there, cause I am in fact talented and blessed-to say the least. So here we go...
I am first and most important, an AMAZING mother! My children are great kids, well behaved, mannerable and smart. Oh and by the way go to phenomenal schools and kicking ass. I provide for them in the most spectacular and effective way that I sometimes have to step back and acknowledge my work. I encourage, motivate, support, discipline and nurture them at all times. They do me proud and I know they will take care of me when I won't be able to. So now that I have the (I would be a/am a) great mom thing outta the way...
I'm smart! Not just book smart with a college education smart, but street smart because I was raised by a crazy single mother (who had her own issues) in the hood, where I had to figure life out at 15. So, being in and from the hood, is comfortable to and for me. And I can handle my own. I obtained my college education while raising 2 kids and later went on to work on my masters. I can talk atoms, algebraic terms, Freud, Socrates, history, politics, and religion...So, smarts...is what I do!!!
I cook; Love to cook and do it well. I'm loyal; cheating is for losers. I clean and keep a clean home. I love sports; will watch and play any of them. And happen to be very competitive. I'm fun and funny; love a good sense of humor and love to laugh. I'm quite adventurous and up and open to whatever is in mind... But will and can also just chill at home. Oh and while at home...I like to please my man!!! take it how you want... I like sex! And happen to be pretty damn good at it too....
I'm a social butterfly and know my way around event planning and having a good time. I enjoy the cultural arts am familiar and enjoy many music genres. LOVE to dance. I'm a hopeless romantic, but fight it; fear of being hurt...so much rather just enjoy the party. I could go on in this area...
I've been told on more than enough occasions I'm attractive. So I guess, I'm cute... tall in height, slender in build. I have long and natural hair, which is quite versatile. I'm fair skin, inviting brown eyes and luscious full lips (so I've been told) and a winning smile. Sexy and confident...Yeah, model type...
So with all that said, I would say what he could get was pretty damn good. And yeah I know, I have issues like the next girl, shit like the next person. I'm not perfect, but who is. My issues are who make me ME! Shit, Love is not perfect, but loving the imperfections in the person you love.
But WOW, my dinner was so amazing I felt like sharing and thought about what he would get if I were his woman.
Yeah, like Beyonce'...Let me upgrade you.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
REMEMBERING Jacksonville
The best romantic experience of my life and I remember it like it happen yesterday...
He flew me into Jacksonville. I hadn't always remembered the city, we have been to a lot of places and have had a great time everywhere we went...so the cities sometimes run together. But recently confirmed, it was in fact Jacksonville. Anyway, he wasn't at the airport when I arrived and I figured he was just running late, like usual. He called to tell me that he was running later than he had planned, but he had sent me a car. Yep! I went outside and there stood a man with a big card with my name on it. *I thought that only happened in movies* :)
When I got to the hotel, he seemed hurried, was grabbing his golf clubs (because his golf game and chatting with friends had ran over) and apologized a few times for not being at the airport. When we got to the room and he opened the door, it all made sense. He in fact, sent the car to allow him to have more time to make his plan come together.
As I walked into the room I was over whelmed with happiness. I had falling in love with him all over again. There were candles and rose petals scattered throughout the room. Slow jams were playing on the iPod deck. He was prepared to run a bubble bath, with oils and rose petals. There were green M&M's in bowls (he had picked out all the other colors, because he knows I love the green M&M most), a fruit tray, wine, ice-cream and other random snacks.
He led me to the bed, where he blind folded me and fed me the fruit. He ate the ice-cream off of me and he made love to me like I had never been made love to before. We drank wine, laughed and chilled the rest of the night. Best night EVER!!!
It's gotta mean a lot for a man to think a whole experience like that out and make it happen. Make it memorable. And I will always remember Jacksonville!
He flew me into Jacksonville. I hadn't always remembered the city, we have been to a lot of places and have had a great time everywhere we went...so the cities sometimes run together. But recently confirmed, it was in fact Jacksonville. Anyway, he wasn't at the airport when I arrived and I figured he was just running late, like usual. He called to tell me that he was running later than he had planned, but he had sent me a car. Yep! I went outside and there stood a man with a big card with my name on it. *I thought that only happened in movies* :)
When I got to the hotel, he seemed hurried, was grabbing his golf clubs (because his golf game and chatting with friends had ran over) and apologized a few times for not being at the airport. When we got to the room and he opened the door, it all made sense. He in fact, sent the car to allow him to have more time to make his plan come together.
As I walked into the room I was over whelmed with happiness. I had falling in love with him all over again. There were candles and rose petals scattered throughout the room. Slow jams were playing on the iPod deck. He was prepared to run a bubble bath, with oils and rose petals. There were green M&M's in bowls (he had picked out all the other colors, because he knows I love the green M&M most), a fruit tray, wine, ice-cream and other random snacks.
He led me to the bed, where he blind folded me and fed me the fruit. He ate the ice-cream off of me and he made love to me like I had never been made love to before. We drank wine, laughed and chilled the rest of the night. Best night EVER!!!
It's gotta mean a lot for a man to think a whole experience like that out and make it happen. Make it memorable. And I will always remember Jacksonville!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
He loves Me, he LOVES me NOT
No matter the distance, what either of us have or had been doing, if we had spoke or not; when we would see each other...we seemed to always pick up where we left off. We seemed to roll like there was never a break. HOWEVER, this time was a little-NO this time was ALOT different. My baby came into town and it was different.
The spark was Not in his eyes. His kiss was hesitant and he held me different when we laid in bed. He didn't hold me tight, with my legs on lock down all night. He didn't hug me close, to ensure I would never get away. Nor did he ever reach for me to ensure I was still there. He didn't even notice that I was wide awake the duration of the night or when I got out of bed. And the weirdest of all...he fucked me, not made love to me. He could've cared less if I had came that night or weeks prior. We felt different.
My text and calls went unanswered. And our communication in general seemed forced. He seemed to have forgotten the importance he was/is in my life. He didn't even ask about the kids, who always ask about him. Nor did he ask how business was going or if I was still sustaining some type of financial life. He didn't seem to care. His touch was cold and his words were frank. I felt unsure about who my love had become. I seemed to have been an option and not his priority. He was different!
This encounter seemed like perchance, a convenient circumstance. Where I had once felt confident and happy to be his baby, this encounter... I felt awkward and out of place around him. It all made me wonder... did he still love me or love me not. His attention and priorities didn't feel like it was about me. We felt different.
I hate wondering if he still loves me or loves me not...
*this blog is subject to futher development*
The spark was Not in his eyes. His kiss was hesitant and he held me different when we laid in bed. He didn't hold me tight, with my legs on lock down all night. He didn't hug me close, to ensure I would never get away. Nor did he ever reach for me to ensure I was still there. He didn't even notice that I was wide awake the duration of the night or when I got out of bed. And the weirdest of all...he fucked me, not made love to me. He could've cared less if I had came that night or weeks prior. We felt different.
My text and calls went unanswered. And our communication in general seemed forced. He seemed to have forgotten the importance he was/is in my life. He didn't even ask about the kids, who always ask about him. Nor did he ask how business was going or if I was still sustaining some type of financial life. He didn't seem to care. His touch was cold and his words were frank. I felt unsure about who my love had become. I seemed to have been an option and not his priority. He was different!
This encounter seemed like perchance, a convenient circumstance. Where I had once felt confident and happy to be his baby, this encounter... I felt awkward and out of place around him. It all made me wonder... did he still love me or love me not. His attention and priorities didn't feel like it was about me. We felt different.
I hate wondering if he still loves me or loves me not...
*this blog is subject to futher development*
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
ADD
I have Attention Deficit Disorder. And when I say this I don't mean it in the actual medical terms, but in relationship terms. So when I say it out loud and or to men, they take my meaning to be..."oh, she's clingy or needy" and that is not the case....
My ADD is about the amount of attention my baby gives to me...texts, e-mails, calls through out the day and of course time spent. In the day and age of texts messages and e-mails...they are HUGE! The "Good Morning, have a good day" or "thinking about you", "hey", "what's up", "can't talk now, call me later", "how's your day" or even "call you in a few". Anything to know he is/was thinking about me, does it for me. I don't need to see or be around him 24/7 or even be in his presence all or even for a day, week or few days. Oh and phone calls long or short will always work, hearing his voice, puts an instant smile on my face. All this because, it's all about the thought that counts!!!
Oh, and I absolutely hate when I send random and/or general text messages and he doesn't respond...WTF! Because I'm sure if I didn't/don't respond to him in a timely manner he would have an issue. So, text messages ease the emotional state of comfort. Calls that go unanswered, should have a minimum of a 5 minute turn around...I get being on a call/not being able to talk at that moment/being busy. But not returning my call within at least an hour is ridiculous!!!
And the whole not spending time with him ALL day or being underneath him all day is stupid!!! Who really needs or even wants that?! I absolutely want and need MY space, so I absolutely will respect his!!! But sometimes I just want to be in his arms, kiss him, touch him or be in his reach... HOWEVER, I have ALOT of free time, and no one wants to be lonely!!! So, just wanting to have lunch with him (in the middle of the day) should be cool. Or hanging out at night and maybe spending the night with him should make sense...
My ADD is more about pleasing him than me!!! I don't want or need a clingy or needy dude...I just want him to want ME, think about and want to spend time with ME!!! Because at the end of the day making him happy is making me happy!!!
So, I will not justify or apologize for my ADD...adding me to his daily regime, means we're all GOOD!!!
My ADD is about the amount of attention my baby gives to me...texts, e-mails, calls through out the day and of course time spent. In the day and age of texts messages and e-mails...they are HUGE! The "Good Morning, have a good day" or "thinking about you", "hey", "what's up", "can't talk now, call me later", "how's your day" or even "call you in a few". Anything to know he is/was thinking about me, does it for me. I don't need to see or be around him 24/7 or even be in his presence all or even for a day, week or few days. Oh and phone calls long or short will always work, hearing his voice, puts an instant smile on my face. All this because, it's all about the thought that counts!!!
Oh, and I absolutely hate when I send random and/or general text messages and he doesn't respond...WTF! Because I'm sure if I didn't/don't respond to him in a timely manner he would have an issue. So, text messages ease the emotional state of comfort. Calls that go unanswered, should have a minimum of a 5 minute turn around...I get being on a call/not being able to talk at that moment/being busy. But not returning my call within at least an hour is ridiculous!!!
And the whole not spending time with him ALL day or being underneath him all day is stupid!!! Who really needs or even wants that?! I absolutely want and need MY space, so I absolutely will respect his!!! But sometimes I just want to be in his arms, kiss him, touch him or be in his reach... HOWEVER, I have ALOT of free time, and no one wants to be lonely!!! So, just wanting to have lunch with him (in the middle of the day) should be cool. Or hanging out at night and maybe spending the night with him should make sense...
My ADD is more about pleasing him than me!!! I don't want or need a clingy or needy dude...I just want him to want ME, think about and want to spend time with ME!!! Because at the end of the day making him happy is making me happy!!!
So, I will not justify or apologize for my ADD...adding me to his daily regime, means we're all GOOD!!!
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