He DOESN'T AND won't Get IT *edited*

Nice guy, good guy, right things in place, wrong type...

A dude approached me in the mall one day. He gave me all the appropriate compliments and we exchanged business cards. I threw his away, but he called me. You see, I'm emotionally detached from the whole hooking up thing. I suppose I've been through alot in my previous relationships and I'm now very....distrusting of men;their intentions and their ability to be real, honest, faithful, truthful, exclusive, and appreciative. At the end of the day, I'm loving me and that's more important than any man right now.

...He called me a few days later. I honestly had hoped that he would've thrown my card away as well. But, since the card exchange we've chatted a few times and have gone out to eat twice... and I don't like him. We have nothing in common. I've been more than frank with him, and told him I'm not interested in developing a relationship, but he doesn't seem to get it. I've went on to tell him, that I'm damaged and am in no emotional place to start or develop a relationship. (I thought the info about an emotionally ubstable chic, would make himn run) But he is persistent and says that I've never had a man treat me the way he will and that I deserve a good man. He calls and text me everyday, and he expresses wanting to see me and spend time with me everyday. All nice and maybe even true...BUT, I don't like it or him.

WHY DOESN'T HE GET IT? Does he realize he WON'T EVER GET IT?

So then, I thought about it... Why don't I like him?! Why doesn't he get it? And why won't He EVER get it? BECAUSE, he is over confident! There are men who have no idea that they think they are the shit, but only smell like shit!!! They think they ARE the blessing to the world. BUT NOT!!! And they're, what they think is swag is only shit! Who the hell does he think he is? Just because HE thinks he looks good, dresses nice, has nice cars and a nice place etc. doesn't mean I am then SUPPOSE to like him. Am I doing him a favor to be with him? NO!!! I would be doing him a favor to be with ME!

And the conclusion is...I don't like overly confident men!!!

So, his DUMB ASS...HE DOESN'T GET IT AND HE WON'T GET IT!!!

wanna FUCK my friends

I have a very small number of friends and an even smaller number of female friends. For the few female friends I have, I would say they are pretty women. And it seems my men agree...

My ex husband tried to fuck two of my really good friends. He denies it to this day, but I don't believe him. The "real" story, I heard from my friends and their men and another third party. Their stories all made more sense then my ex's bullshit ass lie.

I also believe, No, know that "my lover" fucked a few of my friends. His story, was also bullshit. Hence, the short lived "romance". And to no surprise, I've learned that there may have been an opportunity for yet another...fuck my friend. Of course everybodies stories are conflicting, but there was obviously someones intentions...

What the hell goes through a mans head when he decides he wants to step to his girls friend. Why do men find this ok and acceptable. Whether your relationship is going through a rough patch or not, it is NEVER OK for a man to consider being with his girls friend. It is NEVER OK for your friend to be put in that situation, it's NEVER OK for your man to put your girl in that situation and it's NEVER OK for your man to be in that situation.

I will not befriend ugly woman, to avoid my man wanting to sleep with her. I will also never under estimate the thought process of my man wanting to be with one of my cute friends.... Someone told me, not to be so tough on the guy that I should consider the "friend" as well. Good point, however...the situation has presented itself one too many times. Same situation, different men, same cute friends = same BULLSHIT! I can't help but believe that the man is at fault. I have SEVERE trust issues.

Why do I have to think about all those things?

Destiny

A lot of people may not believe in astrology and the cosmos, but I absolutely do!!! My thesis, in obtaining my masters was "Astrology and You". I absolutely believe that your zodiac sign has everything to do with who you are as a person. I believe that when you were born and your character are directly correlated. I respect it to the utmost. The stars and the planets rotate, and believe it or not directly effect who we are and will be....

And with that said...I like tarrot cards and palm readers. In the past few years I've obtained my own destiny reader. I was a skeptic, but eventually believed... when she did my first reading and told me, I had babies in my future. I laughed it off; then came my daughter. She also read my son's future of private school and ultimate success; funny...my son is in private school and kicking ass. She also told me about the divorce of my husband. We know how that turned out. I tried hard to reject alot of her information, but things have come to pass, without fail. She has been very informative in various aspects of my life. She's been on point and almost scary to say the least...

Now fast forward to May 2010, she gave me a reading and to date...EVERYTHING is happening...My company is doing well. My children are and will continue to be successful. She provided info about my parents and social/love life. And most interesting and enlightening is that I'm in my Venus. And what exactly does that mean you ask....welp in lamens terms; men will be drawn to me, want me, want to be with, around and help me. And WOW!!!! The men have been coming out of the wood work. It's been crazy. Everywhere I go the men are there in my face. It's more than I've ever experienced. No complaints at all, but I wasn't expecting it. My networking and contract opportunities have increased. And the amount of men that seem to want to go out with me has also increased...CRAZY!

So, I believe in destiny. I believe that people are destined to meet. I believe that people are destined to be and do specific things. And with destiny, regardless of deviations from the journey if it is meant to happen, it will.

Fat Boys

I'm petite and weigh 110 pounds. I do nothing to maintain my weight, love to eat and have been blessed to be thin. I typically like my men tall and athletic build...muscles are nice, but definitely fit and in shape. Never been into big, meaning fat men. But for some reason they are into me... In the past few weeks I've met about 5 very heavy set men, who all seem to like little 'ole me.

Each approached me in their own round about way. LOL! I've chatted with them all and they all seem to be nice guys. None of them have children, have never been married and each seem to be doing well in their lives. They each live alone in their own homes, have several cars, like to travel and enjoy life. And I have the most important thing in common with each of them...the love of food.

Hmmmmm, so for many woman all those great qualities would make these guys a good catch. Right? No, wrong... I'm not interested. I guess I'm discriminating against the Big Boys. I know that's wrong but, I want to be attracted to the guy and I don't find fat attractive. They are all very sweet and thoughtful, but not my type. I feel like I should feel bad. But, I don't like fat boys.

Sleepless

Another sleepless night...It's been months and months since I've had a full good nights sleep. I stay up late (till 12 or 1 am), wake up around 2:30-3am and then have to really get up, to wake the kids at 5am. And then, I'm up for the day. I would think weekends would be sleep in days, but that never happens and I still wake up at 5am without fail. Someone told me, that his sleepless nights were due to stress. That at wee hours of the night, his mind is racing...how to take over the world. And I must agree.

I am stressed to death!!! I'm a living, walking zombie. My mind can get no rest, it's on non stop status...go here, do this, do that(HOW?)...pay this, pay that (WITH WHAT?)take care of this, take care of that (WOW!) and it goes on...

All the sleep aids in the world haven't and don't help...even accompanied with a shot of tequila, a cocktail, or glass of wine. Still no sleep. And the silence is SOOOO loud. GRRRRRRR

to be continued....

To SHAVE or NOT tO shave

As a teen, we begin to pay close attention when our breast Begin to develop and notice the fine hairs growing on our vajayjays. These developments put girls into woman status. And for as long as I've had pubic hair, I've kept my area tidy...being sure that it didn't peek through my panties on the sides. As I got older I even got a little creative. I tried the pub hawk, the landing strip with the arrow and the Bermuda triangle. But I was always more comfortable with more hair, then less.

Until, I got older. Once I became grown and sexy, I learned that less was more. And that men liked a clean poonanee (in all senses of the word). I even had friends that were wax gurus, but I was always too scared to actually do it. But one day, I did try it...and LOVED it! And became a true fan and advocate of the Brazilian wax. No itchy grow back and it last for weeks. THEN....the economy hit, so I had to stop. *crying*

However, though I no longer wax, I do still keep my little lady well groomed...UNTIL!!!! By special request my boo asked me not to shave...HMMMMM, though there were many thoughts behind this request, I happily obliged and haven't shaved in almost 2 months. Well let me edit that...I have shaved the attempted wholly mammoth that tried to grow between and down my legs. But I currently do in fact have a big foot down there.... LMAO!!!! I haven't had this much hair on my pussy in years!!! And funny thing, is I'm cool. I like not having to deal with the itchy grow back, the ingrown hairs and I like the grown woman look.

So, a funny situation ensued...my boo and I were about to have relations and I was lets say very self conscious. I hadn't really thought about the wild amazon that had been growing down there until the moment he touched my panties. But since by his request, he seemed thrilled to feel the goonie goo that has replaced his once perfectly pruned garden, we kept it moving. But I was still feeling a kinda way. I mean, I can grow it till I'm a full fledged orangutan, but it's something about letting him see it that way that makes me wince.

Silly I know, but hey he likes it and I'm cool...so I love it...less work for me.
I mean as a teen I was happy with my afro that grew in my special place...it meant I was a woman, well growing up at least. And I was always comfortable with hair. So, just because...some new fade of pubescent naked and bare adult snatch hit the scene, I didn't have to join the ranks. I forgot the 'be a leader not a follower' quote. LOL.


Hmmmmm, Let's see how long it takes for me to become full cave woman. LMAOROTF!!!!

Mama

Today's my mom's birthday. I would normally be stressing over what to get and/or what to send her but this year, I'll send her a card with a gift card in it and call it a day. I always wish I could do alot more for my mother and only want and wish her the best. But, I wish she wanted the same. It's too bad, that people often just give up and stop caring, about themselves and or life in general. So, today I'm conflicted about my mama.

My mother and I have had a very tumultuous past few months. She's been literally on her death bed a few times. So scary, thinking she may not live to see another birthday. I try to avoid those thoughts of what not having my mother and what that would look like, but they seem to haunt me. And by the grace of God, she seems to cheat death again and again. But when she's healthy, we argue about about her life choices that seem to continue to land her in the hospital. And we eventually stop talking. And we don't talk for weeks and months...and it kills me. Because no one should never not talk to their mothers.

The mother child relationship has to be the most dynamic relationship in the world. This dynamic is so deep and profound...it can explain, justify and provide understanding of why, how and who people are and become due to their relationships and/or the lack there of with their mothers. The same is true for father child relationships, but today I'm talking about mothers. And mine has made me a crazy woman... But I digress.

I don't like not talking to my mom. And I only prey she is doing what she wants today and is happy and healthy!!!

Happy Birthday, Mommy....