Destiny

A lot of people may not believe in astrology and the cosmos, but I absolutely do!!! My thesis, in obtaining my masters was "Astrology and You". I absolutely believe that your zodiac sign has everything to do with who you are as a person. I believe that when you were born and your character are directly correlated. I respect it to the utmost. The stars and the planets rotate, and believe it or not directly effect who we are and will be....

And with that said...I like tarrot cards and palm readers. In the past few years I've obtained my own destiny reader. I was a skeptic, but eventually believed... when she did my first reading and told me, I had babies in my future. I laughed it off; then came my daughter. She also read my son's future of private school and ultimate success; funny...my son is in private school and kicking ass. She also told me about the divorce of my husband. We know how that turned out. I tried hard to reject alot of her information, but things have come to pass, without fail. She has been very informative in various aspects of my life. She's been on point and almost scary to say the least...

Now fast forward to May 2010, she gave me a reading and to date...EVERYTHING is happening...My company is doing well. My children are and will continue to be successful. She provided info about my parents and social/love life. And most interesting and enlightening is that I'm in my Venus. And what exactly does that mean you ask....welp in lamens terms; men will be drawn to me, want me, want to be with, around and help me. And WOW!!!! The men have been coming out of the wood work. It's been crazy. Everywhere I go the men are there in my face. It's more than I've ever experienced. No complaints at all, but I wasn't expecting it. My networking and contract opportunities have increased. And the amount of men that seem to want to go out with me has also increased...CRAZY!

So, I believe in destiny. I believe that people are destined to meet. I believe that people are destined to be and do specific things. And with destiny, regardless of deviations from the journey if it is meant to happen, it will.

Fat Boys

I'm petite and weigh 110 pounds. I do nothing to maintain my weight, love to eat and have been blessed to be thin. I typically like my men tall and athletic build...muscles are nice, but definitely fit and in shape. Never been into big, meaning fat men. But for some reason they are into me... In the past few weeks I've met about 5 very heavy set men, who all seem to like little 'ole me.

Each approached me in their own round about way. LOL! I've chatted with them all and they all seem to be nice guys. None of them have children, have never been married and each seem to be doing well in their lives. They each live alone in their own homes, have several cars, like to travel and enjoy life. And I have the most important thing in common with each of them...the love of food.

Hmmmmm, so for many woman all those great qualities would make these guys a good catch. Right? No, wrong... I'm not interested. I guess I'm discriminating against the Big Boys. I know that's wrong but, I want to be attracted to the guy and I don't find fat attractive. They are all very sweet and thoughtful, but not my type. I feel like I should feel bad. But, I don't like fat boys.

Sleepless

Another sleepless night...It's been months and months since I've had a full good nights sleep. I stay up late (till 12 or 1 am), wake up around 2:30-3am and then have to really get up, to wake the kids at 5am. And then, I'm up for the day. I would think weekends would be sleep in days, but that never happens and I still wake up at 5am without fail. Someone told me, that his sleepless nights were due to stress. That at wee hours of the night, his mind is racing...how to take over the world. And I must agree.

I am stressed to death!!! I'm a living, walking zombie. My mind can get no rest, it's on non stop status...go here, do this, do that(HOW?)...pay this, pay that (WITH WHAT?)take care of this, take care of that (WOW!) and it goes on...

All the sleep aids in the world haven't and don't help...even accompanied with a shot of tequila, a cocktail, or glass of wine. Still no sleep. And the silence is SOOOO loud. GRRRRRRR

to be continued....

To SHAVE or NOT tO shave

As a teen, we begin to pay close attention when our breast Begin to develop and notice the fine hairs growing on our vajayjays. These developments put girls into woman status. And for as long as I've had pubic hair, I've kept my area tidy...being sure that it didn't peek through my panties on the sides. As I got older I even got a little creative. I tried the pub hawk, the landing strip with the arrow and the Bermuda triangle. But I was always more comfortable with more hair, then less.

Until, I got older. Once I became grown and sexy, I learned that less was more. And that men liked a clean poonanee (in all senses of the word). I even had friends that were wax gurus, but I was always too scared to actually do it. But one day, I did try it...and LOVED it! And became a true fan and advocate of the Brazilian wax. No itchy grow back and it last for weeks. THEN....the economy hit, so I had to stop. *crying*

However, though I no longer wax, I do still keep my little lady well groomed...UNTIL!!!! By special request my boo asked me not to shave...HMMMMM, though there were many thoughts behind this request, I happily obliged and haven't shaved in almost 2 months. Well let me edit that...I have shaved the attempted wholly mammoth that tried to grow between and down my legs. But I currently do in fact have a big foot down there.... LMAO!!!! I haven't had this much hair on my pussy in years!!! And funny thing, is I'm cool. I like not having to deal with the itchy grow back, the ingrown hairs and I like the grown woman look.

So, a funny situation ensued...my boo and I were about to have relations and I was lets say very self conscious. I hadn't really thought about the wild amazon that had been growing down there until the moment he touched my panties. But since by his request, he seemed thrilled to feel the goonie goo that has replaced his once perfectly pruned garden, we kept it moving. But I was still feeling a kinda way. I mean, I can grow it till I'm a full fledged orangutan, but it's something about letting him see it that way that makes me wince.

Silly I know, but hey he likes it and I'm cool...so I love it...less work for me.
I mean as a teen I was happy with my afro that grew in my special place...it meant I was a woman, well growing up at least. And I was always comfortable with hair. So, just because...some new fade of pubescent naked and bare adult snatch hit the scene, I didn't have to join the ranks. I forgot the 'be a leader not a follower' quote. LOL.


Hmmmmm, Let's see how long it takes for me to become full cave woman. LMAOROTF!!!!

Mama

Today's my mom's birthday. I would normally be stressing over what to get and/or what to send her but this year, I'll send her a card with a gift card in it and call it a day. I always wish I could do alot more for my mother and only want and wish her the best. But, I wish she wanted the same. It's too bad, that people often just give up and stop caring, about themselves and or life in general. So, today I'm conflicted about my mama.

My mother and I have had a very tumultuous past few months. She's been literally on her death bed a few times. So scary, thinking she may not live to see another birthday. I try to avoid those thoughts of what not having my mother and what that would look like, but they seem to haunt me. And by the grace of God, she seems to cheat death again and again. But when she's healthy, we argue about about her life choices that seem to continue to land her in the hospital. And we eventually stop talking. And we don't talk for weeks and months...and it kills me. Because no one should never not talk to their mothers.

The mother child relationship has to be the most dynamic relationship in the world. This dynamic is so deep and profound...it can explain, justify and provide understanding of why, how and who people are and become due to their relationships and/or the lack there of with their mothers. The same is true for father child relationships, but today I'm talking about mothers. And mine has made me a crazy woman... But I digress.

I don't like not talking to my mom. And I only prey she is doing what she wants today and is happy and healthy!!!

Happy Birthday, Mommy....

Stamina-Rx

I recently lost my check card, so I've had to use cash lately. I actually had to go into a gas station and pay for gas. I only mention this because, while in a gas station I noticed all the products they sell at the counter besides gum cigarettes and condoms. What really caught my eye was the plethora of sexual enhancement pills, specifically Stamina-Rx. Stamina-Rx is a little blue pill, that since it's with all the other sex enhancement pills...I'll just say it's a gas station version of Viagra. Anyway, to put all this into persprective. I never thought about it before. But my guy friend use to have hundreds of packages of them. Like he had stock in it. And I never read what it was (that was way too invasive of privacy) or cared until, I found a few empty packages AND condoms. I made a joke one day about it and he told me it was for energy. Energy for what? I didn't work him out like that...So, YEAH, I bet.

The shit I ignored and was always right in front of my face.....

Response to Follower

I recently received an e-mail from a follower of my blog. I must say, I was surprised! But I do appreciate her (maybe his) following and sentiment. It's reads....

"Dear Ms.asharpwomanslife, I've followed your blog now for about 3 months. I'm also a single parent and wanting to get my groove back. I like your honest and upfront tone in your blog about love, relationships and being a single parent and how you cope. But, I must say, I went back to read your older post and I'm alittle confused. My confusion started with your 3 strikes & your out post. It seemed that you have been in a relationship with your "boo", "guy friend" for some time now. But state that you've only had 3 real realtionships,your husband, a lover, and the love of your life. So is your "boo" or "guy friend" the love of your life? And then, here in lies the confusion and more so, what I would think to be a problem. In various post you blogged about "his wedding", "text messages" "why we fight" and "I miss us" so were these about your lover or your boo? Because, if they are about your boo aka the love of your life. He can't be the love of your life!"

Confused

And there it is...you put your life on blogger.com and they call you out. LOL. I loved it! Yes, Confused, you are correct and in fact NOT confused at all...

All of those post were about the love of my life. Actually the ONLY 2 about my lover were the ones titled "Out of the Blue". I think I'm pretty clear about the ones about my ex husband. But the others are indeed about, "the love of my life" So, yes...if you do read or have read them all and put it into context maybe you can see our or my roller coaster of emotions about us. There has been ALOT of funky shit that he has done and I added fuel to the fire. So, I am not without some blame. But all I can say is, you can't help who you love. But I DO know! I will NEVER let myself be there EVER AGAIN. and I'm NOT CONFUSED!!!!

Thanks for your e-mail. Keep reading, I have lots more random shit to blog about. Nice to know, someone is reading :)